Date Yourself First (Trust Me on This)
The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for everything else in your life.
Alexandra Radford
Jan 23, 2019
6 min read
One of the most fun things about being single lately… is dating myself.
Sometimes we just need a break from relationships. A season to get to know ourselves again, or maybe for the first time.
If anyone understands how hard that can be, it’s me.
But these are the small, simple things that helped me block out the noise and start building something new:
Go to dinner alone
Gone are the days of arguing about where to go.
Pick the place.
Sit at the bar.
Wear the lipstick.
Order the glass of wine.
Relax and enjoy your own company.
Take a class
Ask yourself: What do I actually enjoy?
For me, it was getting back into dance.
There’s something powerful about being in a space where:
no one is watching you
the music drowns out your thoughts
you reconnect with your body
And you leave feeling confident, grounded, and a little more like yourself.
Rebuild something
I love refinishing furniture—taking something worn down and bringing it back to life.
There’s a process:
strip away the old
smooth out the rough edges
repaint
seal and protect
Sound familiar?
Healing works the same way.
It’s not glamorous—but it’s necessary.
Soak in wisdom
God meets you where you are—but you have to position yourself to hear Him.
That might look like:
sermons
podcasts
worship music
quiet time
The more you lean in, the clearer His voice becomes.
Therapy
Whether you’re coming out of something hard or not—therapy matters.
It helps you:
understand your patterns
identify what needs healing
build healthier ways forward
Take yourself somewhere new
Go somewhere alone.
Somewhere with a view.
Somewhere quiet.
Rest. Journal. Read.
Let yourself just be—without constant noise, responsibility, or distraction.
Do what you want
Truly.
There’s something powerful about realizing:
you don’t need permission
you don’t need approval
you don’t need to explain yourself
Be who you are—fully.
Pray
Create space for God.
For me, that looked like turning a closet into a prayer room.
Writing prayers.
Speaking them out loud.
Watching them get answered.
Be okay staying in
Not every night needs to be out.
Some of the most healing moments happen in the quiet.
Embrace new relationships
Some people leave.
Some people come.
And sometimes, the new people are exactly what you needed.
Set your environment
Your space matters.
Create something that feels:
peaceful
safe
grounding
Write it out
Get your thoughts out of your head.
Clarity comes when you see what you’re feeling.
Be gentle with yourself
You’re learning.
You’re growing.
There is no perfect way to heal.
Give yourself grace.