You Don’t Need a Reset: Why You Actually Need Breathing Room

In a world that constantly pushes you to do more, be more, and move faster, the most powerful thing you can do is slow down. Creating space for your soul allows you to reconnect, realign, and move forward with intention instead of burnout.

Alexandra Radford

Dec 19, 2020

3 min read

A safe place for you to be a work in progress. A safe place for vulnerability.

My therapist, Sandy (you’ll hear me talk about her a lot, probably too much. You're welcome in advance for the free therapy), would probably advise me NOT to put my heart on a platter for people who don’t deserve it and can’t protect it. I’m still learning how to do this. How to protect my own heart while maintaining vulnerability. And maybe creating space to protect your heart is a good place to start. We can learn together.

After all, I’m a forever work in PROGRESS myself!

We live in a never satisfied, never enough, “keeping up with the Joneses” world.We’re addicted to social media and comparing our real lives to the unreal lives of others. Statistics show what we all feel: social media is stealing our joy.

(Side note: If you need further convincing, watch The American Meme on Netflix. It’s a pretty shocking look at how addictive, and honestly depressing, social media can be.)

That being said, I hope that your time spent here is time invested in your wellness, your progress, and your growth. I hope it reminds you that you’re not the only one still figuring things out, and that your heart can be at ease here.

I’ve got a long life story, and you’ll get to know me over time, but I’ll start with what prompted me to create this space.

The last two years of my life have been an absolute whirlwind. It all started after I went on my first mission trip to Israel. There are so many memories and “God winks” from that trip, but I can say this: I came home feeling deeply impacted, changed, and closer to God than ever—with a stronger trust in Him and His plan for my life.

Awesome, right?

Well… my marriage had been on the rocks, and that was one of my biggest prayers while I was in Israel.

I prayed for restoration.
For healing.
For a breakthrough.

God, fix it.
Get in it.
Transform it.
Heal it.
JUST DO SOMETHING!

I wasn’t even home two weeks before everything completely fell apart.

Not exactly the breakthrough I had in mind.

The truth came to light, and with it came pain I didn’t know how to carry; betrayal, heartbreak, and a level of brokenness that left me completely shattered.

(So, I shattered his laptop.)

My identity felt gone. My confidence hit rock bottom. The life we had built over 12 years disappeared overnight. It was the kind of pain that makes you feel like you can’t breathe. I lost 12 pounds in a week. (Wish I could pull that one off again.)

I was numb. Lifeless. A shell of a person I didn’t recognize. And one of the hardest truths I had to face was this: I was never going to be who I used to be again. Letting go of the old version of myself was incredibly hard. Even if she wasn’t perfect, she was familiar. But in order to move forward, I had to dig deep; into habits, patterns, and what my therapist calls “character defects.” Not just to uncover what needed healing, but to begin building who I was actually meant to be.

From the ground up. As a 27-year-old woman, with a career and two kids.

So… I started over.

I started learning who I was. Dating myself. Sitting in the discomfort. Searching for answers. And for a while, I looked in all the wrong places—relationships, psychics, opinions of others. None of it helped. In fact, it made everything worse. Eventually, I hit a breaking point. I was tired of feeling like a mess. Tired of the chaos. And that’s when everything shifted.

Instead of focusing on what happened to me, I started focusing on what Jesus did for me. That’s where the light came in. There were so many moments during that season where I found myself crying out to God, getting ready in the morning, standing in my kitchen, even pulling over on the side of the road just to have a moment. Yes, waterproof mascara became essential. #allmaceverything

But slowly, things started to change. All the small, seemingly insignificant steps began to add up. And over time, I started becoming someone new.

A better version of myself. And honestly… I like her. A lot.

One of the most impactful steps I took was getting involved with Choices Pregnancy Care Center as an advocate. As a teen mom myself, I’ve always had a heart for young women and mothers. And what I didn’t expect was how much that experience would heal me too. Sitting across from women in some of the hardest moments of their lives—listening, praying, connecting, it reminded me of my own story. And in those moments, something powerful happens.

Walls come down.
Hearts open.
God moves.

Sometimes all it takes is a glimpse of Him to shift everything.

If it weren’t for my past—
If it weren’t for becoming a young mom—
If it weren’t for the pain I walked through—

I don’t know if I would have found my purpose at all.

So honestly… cheers to that.

Cheers to the people who allow God to turn their pain into progress, and who somehow manage to stay soft and open along the way.

I hope this space reminds you that it’s okay to be a work in progress.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You’re allowed to grow, heal, and become, one step at a time.

Until next time 🤍